Banalhan's Blight
by CherryValiant
Summary: How can you remain the same when so much around you has changed? My story is less extravagant than you'd think, but I will tell it if you will listen.
1. 1 - Come With Me, Lethallan

"Come with me! There's a place you have to see."

The stars were dusting the night sky with shades of purples and blues. He was still asleep when I whispered my desire to him. His blonde hair was messy, his water eyes searching my face. He smiled dumbly, not comprehending what it was I was trying to get him to do. I pulled on his hand and he stumbled to his knees.

"It is nighttime, lethallan."

"I know, but I found a place you have to see."

Our people were not ashamed to be elven, and not ashamed of who we were. We often slept with nothing but a blanket to protect us from the world. He was an exceptional man, even though, at the time, we were both still entering adulthood. My own body was womanly and full, and his was masculine and toned. What great works of art we were, Ashalle always said in wistful observation.

I took him in as I had done in secret many times before. Our blood drawings extended past our faces. His swirled over a smooth chest and stomach. His back was licked by intricate designs. Mine was, also, but his were wonderful.

I lead him out of his tent silently. Our clan was still dreaming, and the halla were standing guard lazily. They did not make noise as we traveled pass them. The moon was full that night and casted shadows as the sinking sun would. The night was alive with songs most had never heard. We began to run through the trees as deer, moving from our clan and to a place that was unknown. It was freeing.

He followed me loyally, never questioning where I led him. The ground beneath our feet was soft and welcomed our steps. Birds flew with us. When I found where I had stumbled upon earlier that night, I slowed to a stop. His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing quickly, but he smiled at me when I looked at him.

We had reached a clearing in the woods. Before us was a view that my description does not do justice. We stood on an outlook that dropped quite sharply to the forest below. We could see the entire forest from it. The stars danced above us, the trees danced below. Far away, we could see a shemlen castle, jutting out against the moon like a sword. It was harsh and intruding upon the beauty of the natural world.

I heard his breath leave him. We stood beside each other, shoulders almost grazing, and absorbed the world. We had seen many sights, but some still were unknown to us. This one, however, was for him and I alone. Another clan may find that spot again, or a shemlen bandit, or the darkspawn may claim it, but in that moment, it was ours.

He looked down to me. His eyes were filled with starlight. It was as though I was looking into a pool of water reflecting the sky. I was lost in him and in our surroundings. It was as though we could leap from the earth and drift into the moon.

"If you wanted to show me beauty, you could have simply smiled," he said quietly, his face turning scarlet. He was always a charmer. I laughed, and rested my head on his neck. He smelled of the earth. He kissed my ear and pulled me into him. We embraced, and let time move around us.

I wish I knew the elven word for "love". It is not a strong enough term for what elves feel. I loved him, yes, but more than that. The earth is accepting of us, as we are close to it. The wind stirs when two elves love each other. The halla dance as they did when they were young. Luck turns fortunate. The flowers bloom brightly around us. The birds sing and the water is always smooth.

That night, the earth embraced us as easily as he embraced me.

"We should return," he muttered into my hair. I looked to him.

"I would stay here. I do not want to end this time," I stated. He knew what I implied. We made love in secret. It was not proper to do such a thing before we were as one being, but we were young. The idea of being tied to another for eternity was as frightening then as it is now. Our bodies danced like flame together. We stayed with each other for many hours. I would have stayed there forever.

We returned to our people before the sun had risen. None witnessed our return, and we moved to our separate beds. I smelled him on my skin as I returned to sleep. He was my heart's pounding in my ears the warmth in my veins. He was my one.

And now, as the horrible burst of memories washes before me, he lies, slain by my own hand. He was with me for how long, staying in the shadows? I never bothered to look for him, or find him, or heal him. I knew in my chest he was not dead. I did not love him so completely to not know when he was gone. He held on to himself long enough to tell me of his love. We never spoke such words when we were together, but we both knew it.

I am so sorry, Tamlen. I can never ask for your forgiveness now.

Dareth shiral.

I love you.


	2. 2 - People are People

Once, when I was much younger, my clan rested near a human village. We were told not to venture too close, and to always be within earshot of the camp. We, of course, nodded and went about our duties, but not before shooting glances at each other that promised mischief.

When the star shone overhead, we snuck from our beds and met on the outskirts of the village. We promised to remain close, and attempt to disrupt the shemlens as little as possible. We tumbled down the hills and moved for the lamplight in their homes like moths.

The homes were made of wood and stood much taller than us. Rows of plants were fenced in like animals. The buildings were dark and nothing moved within them. We took advantage of the slumbering humans to explore.

We crept past the horses' prisons. They, too, were asleep. We expected them to be frail and underfed, for the stories of how poorly the shemlen treated their animals had been told to us for years. These horses, however, were monstrous and plump, and slept in dry shelter. It was strange to us both to see.

As the moon drifted higher in the sky, we were spotted. Not by a ravenous behemoth of a blood-thirsty shemlen, but by an elderly man with the strangest hair on his chin. In our travels, we stumbled into a small building full of strange tools. Being young and not yet grown into ourselves, we tripped over one of the objects and sent it crashing to the ground. We fled, but the owner of the toppled spades found us.

We backed into the building in fear, clutching each other. He was much larger than the biggest men in our clan. His hair was dark with splashes of moonlight grey. He knelt to one knee to meet our eyes.

"Woah, there! I won't hurt you," he exclaimed, holding up his hands to show his lack of a weapon. We trembled at his size. We feared he would retaliate, strike us down as his ancestors did to ours. He sighed a heavy breath, and fell back to his rear.

"My name is Thomas," he said quietly. We were shocked by his vulnerability before us. What kind of savage would sit before two things he aimed to kill? We watched in horror as he lulled us into false security.

"This, uh… is my shed that you raided," he said with a smirk, resting his elbow on his bent knee. We looked back into mess we made, and felt sorry for this shemlen's things.

"We're not supposed to talk to shemlen," Tamlen spat courageously. The man chuckled.

"You just did. Do you have names?" he asked, and I nodded. Tamlen smacked my arm. I knew it may be dangerous, but this human was showing us kindness.

"I am Banalhan," I squeaked. He nodded, and held out his hand. It could easily wrap around my head. I did not shrink back, but looked to him in confusion.

"When humans are introduced to each other, they exchange handshakes," he explained, and I looked to Tamlen. His eyes warned me to stay away, but I placed my tiny hand inside of his. He engulfed it with his fist and gently shook our arms ups and down. I smiled.

"Strange," Tamlen whispered beside me. The human stood, and stretched his back. He seemed very old to our child's eyes.

"I take it your with the clan that's moved in?" he asked, his voice gruff. I nodded. "Wait here. I'll get a lantern and take you back."

"We can find our way," Tamlen haughtily exclaimed. The human raised a bushy eyebrow.

"Can you? Tell me which way it is," he smiled under his odd facial hair. I knew I hadn't an idea where we were inside the village. Tamlen attempted, but his unsure tone affirmed the human's actions.

He fetched a lantern and walked us back to the hill. He helped us up it, and Tamlen even accepted his aid. When the aravels came into view, he knelt down to his knee again. My friend ran off, back to his tent, to avoid any further help from the shemlen. I stayed.

"You shouldn't come back to the village. My… clansmates aren't as tolerable as I am. I would not want you to fall to harm," he warned, and I nodded. He smiled, and pulled something from his breast pocket. "My daughter saw you from the window. She wanted you to have this. Perhaps you'll meet someday," he said, and placed a small doll in my hands. It was shaped like a bear with large buttons for eyes. I hugged it to my chest.

"Thank you," I muttered, and turned when Tamlen hissed my name. I waved to the shemlen, and he stood and descended the hill.

I learned that day that people are people. Grouping stereotypes onto a person is not how you progress.


	3. 3 - Reflection

I saw him within it. He was twisted and terrifying, snarling at me with shrieking eyes and dying skin. His markings bleed, his messy golden hair missing in large chunks. It looked as though he had been scalped. My chest had constricted in fear, and every inhale brought with it nausea.

We stood below the mirror and looked into a dark, shifting nothingness. I wondered what gnarled powers held the thing; it felt as though the eyes of Fen'Harel were upon me. I reached for Tamlen's arm, and found it cold, even with his flushed skin and heaving chest. The spiders had been no challenge, but the animated corpses had almost overpowered us.

"We should leave," I whispered, and attempted to tug him down a few steps. He resisted me, jerking his arm from my clutch.

"Aren't you curious?" he enthused, looking back to me. For a moment, I thought I saw the tendrils of the mirror dance in his eyes. I let him ascend the stairs, watched as he reached for the glass. I saw it move beneath his fingers, and when I tried to hurriedly force him back. There was a monstrous shove against my body, a screaming light, and I was sent crashing into the wall.

I dreamt of terrible things. For the majority of my slumber, I felt as though I were falling but would never reach the ground. Eyes were around me, bloody and full of hatred. I struggled against them, but could not end the nightmare.

I awoke in my camp, more dead than alive. I remembered strange flashes of clarity, seeing a shemlen's face, awaking one night in a blind panic and screaming out for Tamlen. The rest was full of eyes and darkness.

My Keeper wanted me to lead a party to search for our missing friend. I was disoriented, and I still cannot recall a single conversation from that day. I led Merrill to the cave entrance, but before we entered, I stopped and vomited in the brush. What came out of me was black and twisted in the sunlight. It was my stomach was tearing itself apart, trying to expel the sickness that I was hosting. Merrill insisted we return, but I would not leave without Tamlen.

We searched all levels of the ruin, and found nothing. When we reached the mirror once again, I was feverish, dry heaving into the rubble. I was still walking, but everything shifted under my feet. I was frigid in the sunlight and burning in the shade.

We staggered into the furthest room, where Duncan introduced himself. He argued that the mirror needed to be destroyed, and as Merrill was first attempting to resist, I saw his shadow in the reflection. Tamlen was nowhere, and yet I am certain I saw him within the Eluvian. He was hung from a tree, twisting in the unnaturally stiff way long dead corpses do. I panicked, and Duncan shattered the glass, no longer arguing.

Duncan offered to carry me back to the camp, but I denied him. I may be dying, but I will not risk others' lives. I could feel the skeletal hand around my heart, whispering for me to slip away. I fought, and stumbled into the camp once again. My people were upon me immediately, removing my armor to allow my lungs room to fill. I was carried into the healer's tent, where I fell once again into the Dread Wolf's jaws.

I was carried, in my dreams, to a field. The sun was dim and far away, a pathetic golden orb in the sky. Tall grasses swayed under my touch as I walked, unashamed of my nakedness. There was nothing past the fields, not mountains or rivers. I was lost.

Until a wolf came upon me. He was monstrous, standing as tall as I was and blindingly silver. His eyes shown with lies. He bid me to follow, and I did not. I may be dead, I thought, but I know the Dread Wolf when I see it.

"_Would you be so willing to mistrust if I lead you to your lover?_" he spoke, and I looked him over. His voice was calm, soft, and I found my feet following his steps. We crested a hill and the fiend began to run. I followed, gliding through the grasses with ease, but watching his frame grow smaller and smaller. I screamed when he finally disappeared from sight. I shrieked that he promised to lead me to Tamlen.

I remembered why you are never to trust the Great Wolf as the ground shriveled beneath my feet. I was left, cold and alone, once again.


End file.
